Operation Soulmate Read online

  “Wow,” he said, “You look nice.” Geraldine thought Toby flinched slightly and wondered whether she’d imagined it or whether she’d, briefly, noticed one of those guy-moments passing between. She dismissed it from her mind immediately.

  “Geraldine,” said Toby, regaining his composure “Lovely to see you again. You look beautiful.” He reached out and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. Geraldine felt herself go hot and cold all over, and her hands were shaking slightly again. This really did seem to be becoming a bit of a thing with her just recently. It was definitely the effect Toby had on her. She was sure there were probably swathes of perspiration already beginning to invade the treacherous little turquoise top, and did she imagine it or were those spaghetti straps beginning to feel a little bit fragile as they perched delicately on her shoulders. She was longing for her jeans, a cup of hot chocolate and a good book. She changed the thought quickly. New behaviours, new results.

  “You too, Toby,” was all she could manage, then decided to act quickly to eliminate the slight awkwardness that was definitely in danger becoming a ‘situation’.

  “Oh...! Toby, this is Ben, my flat mate,” She said pointedly.

  “Okay...Nice to meet you.. Ben,” said a completely unsatisfied Toby, offering his hand to a slightly uneasy-looking Ben.”

  “You too,” Said Ben, shaking the proffered hand in a way that almost visibly made the air freeze around them. Geraldine was in danger of having a panic attack. What was wrong with them both! Why were they being so...wooden!

  “Right, well, shall we go?”

  “Okay, I’ll leave you kids to it then.” said Ben, suddenly back in amiable, best friend mode.

  “Goodnight Ben,” said Toby, eyeing his sock-clad feet and designer joggers with growing concern.

  “Night, Toby, nice to meet you.” said Ben. He tried hard to pull himself together. He just had to get used to the idea of Geraldine dating. This was what he’d wanted for her, after all, or at least, what she’d wanted for herself and therefore, of course, what he wanted for her. This was what they’d been working towards. It just suddenly seemed so ...real with Toby actually standing there in their living-room all suave, sophisticated, much too good-looking for his own good and generally just too much ...man.

  Ben wondered off in the general direction of the bathroom, to prepare for his own date. Tonight was going to be a big night, thanks to his new list of anti-friend-zone rules, and he intended to throw himself whole-heartedly into the new learning experience. Oh, yes. And he didn’t have to follow them strictly. It was up to him what he did with them. One thing was certain, there’d be no coaching tonight, but he sure as heck deserved to get laid.

  “He seems like a nice guy,” said Toby without conviction, as he buckled up his seatbelt.

  “Who...? Oh, Ben,” said Geraldine, as if she’d barely noticed his larger-than-life presence in the hallway. “Yeah, he’s okay.” She added, quickly deciding that phrases like the best thing that’s ever happened to me and he’s my absolute Angel, would not serve any useful purpose in the current and spiralling circumstances.

  “So, how long have you two known each other,” Toby continued, innocuously, as they stopped at the first set of traffic lights.”

  “A couple of years,” said Geraldine, trying to sound as off-hand as possible. Why hadn’t she told Toby about Ben? To her, having a male flat-mate was just not a big deal anymore, it had genuinely not even seemed worth mentioning, and she certainly didn’t want to spend the rest her first date with Toby talking about it. “So what sort of week have you had?” She said, literally trying to steer the conversation out of car-crash territory.

  Toby seemed to loosen up slightly when they entered the restaurant but the conversation in the car had been strained to say the least. Over dinner their interaction, by comparison, was light, pleasant, playful and deeply compelling, and apart from the slightly possessive start to their evening, Toby was quickly turning out to be everything he’d promised to be on their first meeting. Rather than being confused or even slightly cynical as she might have expected, he’d actually seemed quite impressed when she told him what she did for a living and as the evening progressed Geraldine struggled to resist the temptation to start mentally ticking boxes, regarding his twin-flame candidacy.

  “My mum’s very psychic,” he said reassuringly. “She loves all that stuff, Angels, Tarot cards, aromatherapy. Last year she dispatched my dad off to stay with me for a week and went on some workshop ...something to do with connecting with your guides or something. It was so funny. Dad and I just totally chilled. It was nice to spend some time with him, just man to man. I forgot how funny he could be.”

  Geraldine sat and laughed as Toby told her stories about his parents and the amazing life they’d all had. He was an only child and had spent a great deal of his childhood in some of the best boarding schools in the USA and the Caribbean. His dad had worked as a computer engineer for a large multi-national and had travelled extensively with his job. His parents had had a great time seeing the world both together, and with him, during his school holidays. He’d been all over the world, and had the most fascinating stories to tell about Egypt, India, The United States and so many of the other places Geraldine had, so far, only ever dreamed of visiting. Toby had no resentment whatsoever towards his parents for all the time he’d had to spend away from them. He said it had toughened him up, made him a man and given him the best education and the most comprehensive view of the education system anyone could wish for. In fact, it was these earlier experiences that had taught him what children needed most, in order to learn well and to develop a thirst for knowledge and a hunger for achievement. Geraldine found herself getting caught up in Toby’s enthusiasm as she sat and listened to him. His attitude to just about everything was so infectiously positive and motivational. By the time they left to see the play, she knew she could have sat and listened to him all night.

  Throughout the night he was a complete gentleman. He opened doors and pulled out chairs, for her, without hesitation and with affection rather than clumsy formality. To him it was just good manners and care. At the same time, he hung on her every word and listened with genuine interest as she talked about what moved her, what spoke to her in terms of music, art, people, her dreams and goals for the future, everything. In every way, Toby was the kind of man she’d been hoping to meet her entire life.

  By the time he dropped her off at home, she was in heaven. He walked her to the door and said goodnight before there was even a chance for any awkwardness. As far as he was concerned, extra coffee was definitely not on the menu on a first date....at least not this one. Geraldine thanked him for a lovely evening and swooned, ever-so-slightly, when he planted a brief but firm kiss on her lips and leapt towards his car where he waited with the engine running, until she’d opened her front door. Once she was safely inside, she could hear him driving away quietly, into the night.

  “Wow!” she whispered to herself, standing with her back against the door, her head swimming with Toby-isms.

  There was no sign of Ben, anywhere, as she wandered dreamily down the hallway, and there were no mystery-woman sounds coming from the living room, so she collected herself and went straight through to the kitchen to make a cup of hot chocolate. She sat down and waited for the kettle to boil, sighing deeply and contentedly, then progressed into the living room with her drink. She switched on the TV, looking for some way of unwinding but found nothing of any real interest so she tried switching on her phone instead, to see if she’d missed out on any outside-world contact during her time in the Toby love-zone. As soon as it was switched on, her phone began to vibrate with a text-alert. The number wasn’t recorded in her phone’s contacts list and she didn’t recognise it at all. She quickly pressed the ‘read’ button to reveal the message.

  Hope you’re having a cool

  Saturday night.

  Call you tomorrow.

  Thinking of u ...Carl.

  Oh, God, who wa
s Carl? How had her life suddenly become so interesting and so... complicated? She glanced over at the coffee table and noticed a new, pale blue post-it note, attached to her coaching file.

  “No! No Ben. It’s over!!” Surely it was over now!!!! “What are you trying to do to me?” She almost wanted to laugh out loud at the thought of anymore Operation Soulmate outings. She suddenly remembered who Carl was and smiled appreciatively. However, as nice as it was, having all these wonderful men suddenly appearing in her life... Operation Soulmate was over, over, over! Toby was her twin flame. She could just feel it. And whether or not her feelings turned out to be correct, she was prepared to take her chances with him and maybe, just maybe, in the worst possible case scenario, if he failed her in some way...then Carl....poor Carl, poor, sweet, lovely, sexy Carl. No! It would be wrong to lead him on in any way until she knew for sure. She decided that the only decent thing to do, now that she was convinced that Toby could be the one, was to let Carl down gently and tell persistent, love-Rottweiler, Ben that Operation Soulmate was over. Mission accomplished! There was just no way she could do this multiple-dating thing; she just wasn’t cut out for it. She’d be forever worrying about how all the other guys felt as they each waited for her to end her dates with the others. Worse still was the thought of not telling them about each other and carrying on behind their backs. She tried to imagine how that would go down with Toby. He’d already seemed thoroughly unimpressed with Ben and she wasn’t even dating him...He was just...well... He was just Ben!!!!

  Geraldine eventually drifted off to sleep, replaying some of the evening’s top moments with Toby in her head. She looked at the clock, before nodding off completely. It was one 0’ clock in the morning and there was still no sign of Ben. Good for him, she thought; good for him.

  Chapter 11

  It was great having two whole days off. It seemed like such an indulgence now. She’d forgotten how great a complete weekend could feel. It had definitely been a good move to swap her days around to get weekends free for a while, what with all the dating activity! There was no way she would have wanted to be going to work after a night like last night. She wanted to bask in the glow of Toby’s affections, uninterrupted, for as long as possible. She spent the afternoon pampering herself with a long, hot, bubble-bath, followed by a slathering of warmed aromatherapy oils all over, and a home pedicure. It was around 6pm when Ben, finally, arrived home to a veritable emporium of exotic fragrances, burning candles and incense and chilled out pamper music. She heard him pottering about in the kitchen, just as she was finishing up writing in her journal.

  “Hello stranger.” she said, playfully. “Where did you get to, last night?”

  “Oh, God,” said Ben, “Don’t ask. My date cancelled at the last minute so I went ‘round to Danny’s to watch some old Sci fi movies, had way too much to drink and couldn’t drive back so I slept on his couch.

  “Oh, Ben, that’s awful!” She said sympathetically.

  Poor Ben. Obviously the mystery woman had already tossed him out into the cancellable-at-short-notice zone. From there, it was just a short, humiliating hop to the friend-zone. She could almost see the orange traffic cones of demarcation, lining up all around him in preparation ...and before he’d even had a chance to practice his new love-zone behaviours!

  “You look happy,” he said, expertly changing the subject. The last thing he needed was pity from the woman he was in love with. It was mortifying enough to have another failed love-affair under his belt. “Good date last night?”

  “Oh, Ben, it was amazing. He was amazing.”

  “Yeah, he seemed like a really nice guy,” said Ben, back up to speed with his new adjustment.

  “I’m really happy for you,” He added, remembering his promise to let go completely and to continue to do whatever he could to ensure her happiness. If it meant watching her drive off into the sunset with someone else, then so be it. That was a chance every guy had to take when he decided to have a woman as his best friend. Falling in love with her was, surely, always going to be a potentially hazardous by-product of the friendship and one you just had to learn to deal with until it either blew over in time, or you finally found someone else you could love that much.

  “Thanks Ben,” she said, once again putting the awkwardness of his meeting with Toby to the back of her mind. “And it really is all thanks to you! If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be single and moaning about becoming thirty.” Ben laughed awkwardly.

  “Oh, Ben,” She said, “What about you? What about your new rules?”

  “Oh, those,” he grunted somewhat huffily, “didn’t even get a chance to try them out. By the way,” he continued, “..as insightful as they are, they’re not nearly as straightforward as you make them out to be.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, for example, this thing about getting the first kiss, you make that sound so easy, when, in reality, it’s just not that simple. I mean, things are complicated nowadays Gerry...for us guys.... If you go in too strong, some women think you’re trying to take advantage, or that you’re not taking them seriously. Some women like to take things reeeeaaaaally slowly... You know... and, then. some women definitely don't! And it’s just not that easy getting that first kiss when you’re not even sure what kind of woman you’re dealing with. And then there’s all these weird ideas about what being a gentleman really means and ....all sorts of other, complicated stuff like that. Look, I know I’m a coach and yes, I know how to tell other people how to do all this stuff and you probably think it should all just come really easily to me in my own personal life. But it’s just not like that. I mean, I know instinctively how to help everyone else because... well I just do...It’s just so obvious when you’re the person on the outside... But the truth is, when it comes to my own life, I am hugely out of practice... ”

  Geraldine looked at his gorgeous and blameless face and tried to see his dilemma from a man’s point of view. Surely Ben was just being too hard on himself, as usual. He was making way too much of this. It was just a kiss, after all. Then again, how would she feel about initiating a first kiss with a virtual stranger? She shuddered silently at just the thought. She could see how a kiss might suddenly become incredibly complicated... Then she remembered Toby, the night before, and how effortless his kiss had been. Okay, it hadn’t been particularly, passionate, but it certainly hadn’t felt just friendly either. And it had left her in no doubt, whatsoever, about the nature of his true intentions towards her, and yet, it had been sweet and respectful.

  “Ben, you are working this way too hard.” She said, “This is something that should be simple and straightforward...” Geraldine had hoped to have had some good results happening for Ben by now, but he really could be his own worst enemy. And for someone who spent all his time helping other people to fearlessly navigate their way through this potentially murky terrain, he was alarmingly fearful! She needed to take drastic action.

  “Okay,” she said decisively, “Go and get yourself sorted out. Relax, have some you-time and then come back and we’ll talk it through. I’ll make some notes while you’re gone and I want you to come back in here with a positive attitude. Perhaps this will help,” she said, reaching over to the fridge and producing the bottle of champagne she’d bought for as a special thank you for Ben, and a celebration of her first, successful date in ages. “Now do you think you can do that?!!”

  Ben smiled, even though the thought of more alcohol was, at that point, not as inviting, as Geraldine seemed to think it should be. “Sure,” he said smiling gamely as he carefully popped the cork, poured two glasses, handed one to her and reluctantly took a polite sip from the other. This was just too humiliating for words, but at this point he was ready to do just about anything to move on, have a decent relationship with an available woman who didn’t treat him like her gay best friend and get Geraldine out of his system once and for all. “Yep, definitely,” he added, taking another sip. “I’m there. Give me one hour to catch up on some c
alls and get my head together.” He said with new determination and optimism.

  By the time he returned an hour later, showered, shaven, and shining from the news of a new T.V. spot, courtesy of his kindly answering machine, Geraldine had sipped her way through two glasses of his celebratory bubbly and was tapping her pen impatiently on her notepad.

  “Okay,” she said, pouring him another glass and helping herself to another at the same time. “Ask me anything you want to know about your list. If there’s anything at all you don’t understand, now’s the time to raise your objections.” She said raising her glass and spilling some champagne without even noticing, but carefully refilling her glass and his when they began to look mysteriously empty again.

  Ben sat down and carefully picked the Love-zone list to pieces, raising one objection after another. What if he wanted to discuss his work because he couldn’t think of anything else to talk about? He was his work. If he didn’t talk about work, surely there’d be nothing to say. What if his date asked if he’d ever been married before or why he was divorced; how could anyone realistically avoid talking about exes? the questions seemed never ending, and Geraldine sat and answered each objection patiently, wisely and intuitively, until they finally returned to the sticky subject of that elusive first kiss. By now, she was beginning to feel tired and slightly less sympathetic. It was almost as if Ben didn’t actually want to be happy.... as if he feared it somehow. Ben seemed to have a lot of fear. He seriously needed to just man up!!