Operation Soulmate Read online

  “Perhaps, you’d like to explain some other time....over dinner...” He said, with exactly the kind of calm self-assurance she’d been trying to conjure up all morning. She was stunned. Ben was a genius; It was official, and there was just no doubt about it. Geraldine promised herself, once again, that from now on, she would absolutely and definitely do whatever Ben asked of her, without hesitation. After quickly giving Toby her number and waiting while he insisted on calling her straight away to make sure she also had his, she very calmly and elegantly shook his hand before gliding out of the room, looking every bit like someone who was not at all ruffled in a crisis. In a flash, Brogan was by her side, like a flaming, red super-heroine and Ben, lovely, wonderful, genius, Ben stood waiting in the hotel lobby, holding the door open for both of them as they skipped lightly out onto the pavement.

  “Wow! What just happened in there?” said Brogan, happily. “That was wild!”

  “Oh my God, I think I’ve got a date,” said Geraldine, unable to contain her sheer amazement. “Oh thank you Ben, thank you, thank you, thank you,” she added, squeezing his arm for good measure and then reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek, when arm-squeezing just didn’t seem enough to express her gratitude. Ben blushed, ferociously but Geraldine didn’t see it. She was too wrapped up in all the excitement about her date with Toby. But Brogan saw it... and Ben saw Brogan seeing it. Brogan smiled a slightly, irritating lop-sided smile, while Ben collected himself quickly and slipped, almost seamlessly back into professional mode.

  “Okay, that’s just the first step.” He said. “Welcome to the wonderful world of dating...”

  “Oh Ben,” said Brogan, grinning mischievously, “That was such a great day, thank you! And it’s so nice of you to come along with us... all this way...and on a Sunday.” Ben smiled, nervously.

  “That’s okay, Brogan, any time; anything to help out a friend.” He said genially, carefully avoiding eye-contact.

  Brogan smiled to herself. Yeah, I’ll bet, she thought.. Anything to help out a hot little friend you’ve totally got the hots for...

  Chapter 5

  The next day at work, Geraldine was beside herself with excitement, wondering when Toby was going to call, wondering if Toby was ever going to call, wondering why Toby hadn’t already called and wondering whether she should call Toby. At 1.30 p.m. Sandra, the medium who often worked in the cubicle next to her, stood at her door and looked her up and down slowly.

  “Your energy’s weird today,” she said, scrutinising the air all around her. Geraldine cringed slightly. People who could see auras so clearly and physically always fascinated her and, if she was completely honest, secretly crept her out a bit.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, your aura’s all pink. Found yourself a man, haven’t you...”

  “Oh God, is it that obvious?”

  “Kind of....” She said, throwing her head back and laughing raucously. “Come on then, let’s have a look,” Geraldine felt her heart leaping, as Sandra stood motioning her into her cubicle for a mini reading. “I’m taking my break now and I’ve brought lunch in with me. If you’re free for a while we can see what the cards have to say about it. Geraldine wasn’t sure she was ready for Sandra’s laser-like vision and no-nonsense approach. She knew that with Sandra, there would be no dressing things up to make them more palatable. Bad news and good were dished up with the same brutal honesty, leaving little room for ambiguity. Then again, her approach left little room for future mistakes either. But was she really, ready to hear the truth?

  Sandra, a tall, regal, Nigerian tarot reader with a hearty laugh and an almost infamous no nonsense approach, had no time whatsoever for the lies people told themselves, and even less patience for the reasons they continued to tell them, long after she'd made them wise to what was really going on in their lives with a generous offering of cards and concern. One of their most popular readers, and quickly gaining an international following, due to the fact that she had an almost other-worldly rate of accuracy and was brimming with confidence, intelligence and counselling qualifications, Sandra was a force to be reckoned with at the best of times. Geraldine tried to avoid her intense stare by becoming preoccupied with some angel figurines that were suddenly in desperate need of rearranging, but somehow failed to avert her eyes quickly enough. Then, suddenly, it was too late. As soon as Sandra began staring more intently into the spaces above her head, she knew she was hooked and there was just no going back.

  “Okay,” she said, darting into the beautifully decorated cubicle, accompanied by more raucous laughter. Sandra handed the cards to her.

  “Okay, what’s his name?”

  “Toby,” said Geraldine, glancing at her phone for the hundredth time that day. Sandra noticed that she’d carried it into the cubicle with her and kept glancing over at it, even as she began to shuffle the well-worn deck.

  “You got it bad, girl.” She said smiling in a way that lit up her face. They both laughed. “Okay, just concentrate on Toby. Is Toby a good match for Geraldine? Is that a good question?” Geraldine thought for a minute. With what Ben seemed to have planned for her, she was sure there were going to be plenty of guys who’d prove to be ‘a good match’ for her. She wanted more.

  “No,” she said, straightening up and clearing her throat as if clearer speech would somehow allow the universe to hear her question a little more easily, as if it didn’t already know what was already written on her heart. “Is Toby THE ONE?” Sandra smiled. Ah yes, she thought, The ONE, the unceasing obsession of every lightworker she’d ever met. She knew it only too well, herself; the quest for the elusive twin flame.

  “Okay, is Toby the one, Geraldine’s Divine twin flame and partner in service to humanity...and to love?” Geraldine inhaled the question. She liked the question ..a lot; it was perfect. In fact, she almost wanted to cry suddenly, just hearing it. She looked at Sandra and smiled, nodding slowly as a moment of deep knowing passed between the two psychics, and they allowed the Angelic influence in the small room to begin to guide their thoughts and words. “Okay, so just stop shuffling when it feels right.” said Sandra, inhaling the immense weight and reach of the question.

  Geraldine tried to stay reasonably detached from the outcome as she shuffled the cards in silence; knowing that too much attachment could sometimes muddy a reading and that, even in life, wanting something too much could sometimes push that very thing away.

  If only she could always stay in this state of non-attachment. She stopped shuffling just as she had a clear image of Toby’s beautiful smile.

  “Okay, split the pack into three piles and pick one.” Geraldine carefully split the pack, and couldn’t help noticing that her hands seemed to be shaking slightly. This could not be a good thing. Why did Toby already seem to have this effect on her?! How had she done any good readings at all that morning? It was often at times like this, however, that she seemed to give her best readings, when (in consciousness-terms) she had pretty much left the building, and her guides would step in, almost channelling the necessary information through her.

  Sandra looked at the first card on top of the chosen pile. “Now,” she said, staring into Geraldine's frightened eyes. “Do you want to know the truth? Can you handle it?” Geraldine thought for a second. Did she really want to know so early on? She’d only just met Toby. She hadn’t even been on a date with him yet. Wasn’t it at least worth just going with the flow for a little while? Discovering, by natural means, what such a connection might bring? No! She didn’t have time to waste on natural means, or on something that wasn’t the real thing, or on anyone who wasn’t the one. And although she was currently obsessing about him, ever-so-slightly, there were still, at this point, no real, deep feelings for Toby, but if there was going to be a disappointment lurking, somewhere along the Toby & Geraldine timeline, it was just as well to find out in advance, before she fell for him hook, line and sinker.

  “Yes,” She said, carefully searching Sandra's face for signs of impen
ding danger, as she proceeded to lay out several rows of cards in quick succession, speaking quickly and confidently at the same time.

  “He’s not the one. He’s a lovely, lovely guy but he’s not your twin flame. There’s someone else who's already around you now, who’s absolutely made for you; he’s the one, this other guy, but you won’t see him until it’s perhaps too late. Too much karma. There’s nothing wrong with the connection with Toby. He has the potential to make a very good match, and he is looking for someone to share his life with. He's not interested in a fling, and he looks as if he could be completely faithful. Quite devoted actually, but only as long as he feels you're really into him. And, I think he’s already quite taken with you, even after just one meeting. You’ve known him before. I see you both as teachers in previous incarnations in ancient Egypt, and again in Ancient Rome. He was your husband a couple of times, and a very good one. He was your wife once as well. This man is a true egalitarian, a very evolved soul with a high degree of sensitivity and self-mastery. Others look up to him for his achievements, and for what he stands for.” Geraldine sighed. Yep, that sounded like Toby alright. Good, old Sandra.

  “My advice would be to choose this Toby guy, because the connection with your twin flame is soooooo complicated. I'd steer well clear of it. You know how it is with twin flames; it's never smooth sailing. There’s always a barrier, some kind of obstacle. The guy who’s your twin flame has been hurt so badly,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “He’s very disconnected from his feelings. He will love you dearly ...and the power of that love will terrify him. He might never trust himself to reveal his true feelings to you. He will run away from true intimacy, rather than face the possibility of more heartbreak. Sounds a bit like you, doesn't he!!?” She said, laughing raucously, and then stopping, suddenly, to peer at her over the top of her super-trendy, 1950s style glasses. Geraldine shifted in her seat slightly. Why did everyone seem to think she was some kind of commitment-phobic? It was the men she went out with that were the commitment-phobes, not her!!! And why was it always so warm in these cubicles?

  “The problem is,” She continued, mercilessly, “...your twin is your perfect mirror. So, at any given time, either you will be running away...or he will. You'll be forever playing catch-up with each other. It's almost as if he's afraid to get what he truly wants. He surrounds himself with women who take advantage of him or those who can never understand what truly drives him. So he remains, unmoved, untouched, elusive and unharmed. Never risking hurt at the hand of the one his heart truly longs for. The one who could hurt him beyond repair...or take him to an equally dangerous place of true joy and challenge him to see himself as the Divine messenger he came here to be. He might tell you at some point that you have issues with intimacy, but it will be very hard for him to look at his own issues, unless he’s very, very evolved and he really, REALLY loves you.

  And you see, that’s the challenge with twin flames: they force each other to grow, they have to! In order for this kind of connection to even have a chance of working. In order to even recognise each other in the first place, they have to become so evolved, so self-aware ... almost telepathic....and that process can be long, drawn-out and very testing. Do you know how hard that can be? For true twin flames to find and truly love each other when each one has collected so much karma, hurt and mistrust, both together and apart, over years, centuries ... ages!!! You and your twin flame have danced this dance over many, many lifetimes, Geraldine... to many different strains of music.... In the end, it’s always the same. The leap is too great, and what you both wish for the most ..is denied you. Are you absolutely certain that you’re prepared to take that leap now, to stop being afraid? Only the masters can walk that road. Are you ready to be a master Gerry?”

  “Yes, yes!! It’s what I want more than anything.” Geraldine wasn’t sure she was ready to be a master, but if it meant finding her twin flame and being in the only relationship that would ever be meaningful to her then surely she was as close to being ready as a person could ever be...!

  Sandra took a good, long look at Geraldine before peering down at the cards again and shaking her head slowly. “What you’re asking for is HUGE honey. And I can tell you now, it doesn’t come easy.” Geraldine sighed dejectedly into the uncomfortable silence that followed. She tried not to be irritated. No point in shooting the messenger when she had only herself to blame. She’d known what she was getting into by entering the cubicle. It was what she’d asked for ...the truth...and she would have to take responsibility for that. Anyway, she still had the choice of either taking it all with a pinch of salt and just seeing what happened with Toby; or taking every word as gospel and continuing to wait for the real twin flame.

  Sandra smiled sympathetically and continued carefully, sensing the deep disappointment that was filling the cubicle. “This other guy, this ...Toby....he’s easy. He’s aware, strong and ready for love; he could even be a lot of fun. Maybe a bit possessive at times, but only because of what he’s been through in the past, and perhaps because there’s also a bit of residual past-life stuff between you. He’ll get over that if he feels he can trust you. I recon he’s the prize. Don’t you think you could love him? A while ago, you were so sure...” Geraldine, suddenly, wasn’t enjoying her reading as much as she’d hoped she might. Why couldn’t Sandra just tell her what she wanted to hear?!!!

  Sandra pulled a few more cards from the pile. The next card was The Star, followed by The Lovers and then The Sun. They both looked at each other, puzzled. “Right,” said Sandra, trying to process the huge range of information and complexity represented by the equally complicated-looking spread. “This get’s even more complicated. As you know, the lovers card is the twin flames, card. The Star ...can be a sign of wishes fulfilled, and The Sun speaks for itself; happiness, fulfilment, satisfaction after struggle, completion and all that good stuff. So it looks, from the cards, as if there might be hope....”

  Geraldine gasped. Hope sounded good. She sat bolt upright in her chair and leaned forward excitedly, only to slump back, deeper than ever when the death card, suddenly reared its unwelcome head, as it so often did in her readings. She had no idea why she always reacted to it this way; she knew it didn’t mean a physical death, just the death of a way of life, a way of being, an ending of some sort. Usually before a lovely, timely rebirth, or an awakening, or the beginning of something much, much better - one door closing and another one opening, blah, blah, blah - but she still loathed it. Perhaps, it was just the fact that it so often meant endings ...and she was so, so tired of endings...

  Sandra sighed deeply.... “I see complications here. I see you becoming deeply involved with two men. Be careful..... You could end up losing both of them...” She sighed again. “Start to be honest with yourself Gerry, about what you really, truly want ...or you’ll end up losing the one you truly desire.”

  Geraldine was torn between wanting to simply have a great relationship with a great guy who was great relationship material and just wanting to have her twin flame at any price, regardless of whether or not he was going to be fully able to step up. Two things were worrying her slightly, one was the prospect of spending too much time with Toby, knowing full well that he probably wasn’t her twin flame, and the other was that her twin flame sounded like a bit of a workout.

  She decided on the way home, that the most important thing Sandra had said was that Toby was a really nice guy. And anyway, no one had an absolute 100% accuracy rate, did they? Surely, it was as impossible to consistently predict life in its entirety with all of its inherent probabilities, the ever-increasing vagaries of cosmological irrationality and the random variants of free-will, as it was to escape loving someone you were born and destined to love. When Toby called....if he eventually called, her twin-dar would be turned up full. He could still be her twin flame. And if he was, surely the universe was bound to bring it to their attention at some point, in no uncertain terms. She already had a number of clues. Sandra had said they’d b
een together in previous life-times. Then there was the proximity clue, a sign of universal conspiracy if ever there was one! Geraldine lived in Crouch End and Toby lived in Muswell Hill, which was just five minutes away, even though the seminar - the scene of their initial and portentous meeting - had been miles away in the centre of town. Then there was the magazine feature in Times Ed....twin features on the same page, both reflecting similar values from slightly different perspectives. If that wasn’t a metaphor for twin flames, what was?! Maybe they’d both even been reading about each other on the same day, at the same time, as the universe and telepathy and synchronicity had tirelessly conspired to bring them together. She was sure there were more signs to come, somewhere along the way. All that needed to happen now was for him to phone and everything would be just fine. That would be a really good sign.

  Sandra had said her twin was ‘already around her now’, but what did that mean? She made a mental note, to herself, never to use that phrase again in readings. It was just too confusing. Did it mean her twin flame was the unkempt yoof who worked in the downstairs part of the shop? Did it mean he was actually in her life somewhere, physically, or was he just energetically around her, perhaps living on some Caribbean island but connecting with her, psychically, because he was also petitioning the universe for a twin-flame reunion? There was just no way of knowing. There were no other men in her life, apart from Ben... and the guy in the fish and chip shop...who was always, admittedly, very friendly and did often give her very big portions. No! She decided there and then, that even though it might seem very un-evolved to admit it, her twin-flame had to be hot. She wasn’t here to learn that particular lesson this time around. She knew that everyone was beautiful in the eyes of God, and that there was something lovable in everyone, but she also knew her twin flame had to be hot, and that was all there was to it.